Friday, June 17, 2016

One Reason America is Awesome

After a week of bemoaning another act of senseless violence, I decided to focus on something that makes America great.

When I was home in March, I was bombarded by commercials for pizza wrapped in bacon. I was appalled and attracted at the same time.

I truly believe that everything can be improved with bacon, butter or cheese. I am also aware that processed meat flung on top of cheese that is melted onto bread that is swathed in bacon is scary unhealthy. I also had a strong suspicion that combination would taste awesome.

Because I kept seeing the commercials, I kept talking about this new menu option. My mother listened to my complaints and heard desire.

When my mother was getting me ghetto Chinese food (so that a major food wish would come true), she stopped off at the pizza place two doors down from the Chinese restaurant. She forced me to encounter my frenemy -- bacon-wrapped pizza. That is why mothers are so great. They help you fulfill your dreams.

The pizza was as delicious as I thought it would be. It was only the beginning of a feast. It is best to eat pizza first because heat helps hold all of the amazingness together. I followed that gastronomic majesty with vegetable egg foo young. That was one of the best meals that I have ever had. I mean that in all sincerity.

You can't get this combination of fat, salt and flavor in Deutschland. That is probably a good thing.