Tuesday, October 18, 2016

R-O-C-K in the Deutschland

Last night, I went to my fifth concert in Germany and I am about to give up. I lived in New York for almost nine years and I never came close to a concert. Eight million people fighting for one seat. The odds were not in my favor. The odds are in my favor in Germany but it almost doesn't matter because the experience is not as great as it was in Philadelphia, the site of my birth and where I have spent most of my life.

I remember the first time I went to a concert alone. I had no trepidation because I knew I would be surrounded by the love of one group. I was right. I danced and laughed and screamed and high fives strangers who were my best friends for three hours.

I was surprised that when I went to my first concert in Germany, people around me sat through most of Madonna's MDNA concert. Meanwhile, I was dancing through most of the opening act, Martin Solveig.

The same thing happened when I saw U2 and Beyonce.

Robert Smith & Co. at Hamburg's Barclaycard Arena

Last night, I had amazing seats to see The Cure. By now, I have adjusted my expectations. I have enough energy for myself. I don't need anything from my fellow concertgoers. However, I was shocked about how low the crowd could go. At my first concert in Hamburg [I saw Madonna twice in Berlin and U2 in Berlin; Beyonce slayed Frankfurt.], I was told several times to SIT DOWN.

Unfortunately, my usual partner in crime was too sick to come, so I went alone. Fortunately, I had the area around two seats to dance around.

The first man asked me to sit and I said no. My answer shocked him and he asked me again. Again, I said, "Nein." He looked at me for about ten seconds and then walked away. Next up was some 19-year-old-looking girl nicely told me to sit down. When I replied in the negative, she asked me why. I said nothing.

I was sitting on the aisle. In the middle of the concert, some guy started walking toward me. I wasn't sure why. He had crutches in his hand and passed them over my legs and then he knocked me out of the way. I guess he decided to sit in someone else's seat; not my Immortal Beloved's unused seat. He put down his crutches and immediately started videotaping or photographing the concert. Obviously, I was sitting when he trespassed. An emotional ballad was moving through the air. When one of My Songs came on, I started dancing. This interloper demanded that I sit down. I said no. He demanded again. Again, I said, "Nein." He said, "Doch." I said, "Nein."

It is ridiculous that people think their wish is my command. It is a concert, not a library. This Philadelphian wanted someone to push the idea but no one did. If I could have knocked one person down, then there wouldn't be anymore requests. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and the photographer demanded that I sit down several more times.

I think I may have to see my next concerts in Spain or Italy, one of the more boisterous countries.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Ready, Set, Hillary!

The recently-ended presidential debate has motivated me.

For once, I am NOT voting at the very last second. Thank you, Donald J. Trump [a bit of credit should go to an inept Lester Holt].

Friday, June 17, 2016

One Reason America is Awesome

After a week of bemoaning another act of senseless violence, I decided to focus on something that makes America great.

When I was home in March, I was bombarded by commercials for pizza wrapped in bacon. I was appalled and attracted at the same time.

I truly believe that everything can be improved with bacon, butter or cheese. I am also aware that processed meat flung on top of cheese that is melted onto bread that is swathed in bacon is scary unhealthy. I also had a strong suspicion that combination would taste awesome.

Because I kept seeing the commercials, I kept talking about this new menu option. My mother listened to my complaints and heard desire.

When my mother was getting me ghetto Chinese food (so that a major food wish would come true), she stopped off at the pizza place two doors down from the Chinese restaurant. She forced me to encounter my frenemy -- bacon-wrapped pizza. That is why mothers are so great. They help you fulfill your dreams.

The pizza was as delicious as I thought it would be. It was only the beginning of a feast. It is best to eat pizza first because heat helps hold all of the amazingness together. I followed that gastronomic majesty with vegetable egg foo young. That was one of the best meals that I have ever had. I mean that in all sincerity.

You can't get this combination of fat, salt and flavor in Deutschland. That is probably a good thing.